Kings of Insanity The Rewrite
by Vermiculus-umbra-chorus
Summary: A rewrite of my other SAO story. A story about six other "Beaters" just trying to stay alive.
1. Chapter 1

**This is my major project, the story that I have been waiting for the proper inspiration. Unlike my other stories this one is not a Naruto story. This is obviously an SAO story. After some thought I have decided that I needed to rewrite this in order to make some more sense of later events. **

**Disclaimer: I own very little and SAO is NOT something I own. The only name I own is Robert.**

**Kings of Insanity**

**Chapter 1: My Brothers and the Black Swordsman.**

Here in Aincrad there are many people that were here since the beginning, the original 10,000 and what not. This story is about seven of these people.

A girl and her friends were walking around a low leveled area and were laughing at each other's jokes. 'My name is Alice Cathey, and I am the 'official' guild leader of the Kings of Insanity. The guild consists of Robert Robinson, our jack-of-all-trades if you would; Lucas Howard, our black-smith; John Robinson, our DPM in boss fights; Laurence Blankenship, our tank; Logan Smith, our potion-mixer; and Joe Cathey, our stealth master and my actual older brother. We are number one in the rankings, our guild symbol is hidden in their eyes while I have it on my shoulder, and no one knows that they are the ones who have been known to help clear bosses while the Knights of the Blood-Oath were fighting.

All six of my brothers were beta-testers and they have been friends since they were all in high school. When they got the game for real, I asked if I could play as well and my older brother agreed and I started playing. The first day was going awesome, I mean my brothers were all so powerful and they knew exactly what to do, then came that moment when we all learned that if you die in the game you die for real; that was the first time I saw all of them pissed at the same time. Not long after they started clearing floors like it was nothing. They even made the guild for the sole purpose of protecting me.

Even now that I'm hanging out with my friends I notice my big brother hanging back, keeping an eye on me. Joe's character was wearing a black cloak, hiding most of his appearance, but by looking closely I saw that he had his dagger and usual armor on, his black jacket was covered by weird looking symbols, and the cloak. His brown hair was short and his eyes were watching my every movement. My friends were all low leveled, just like me. They all noticed my brother but didn't mention a thing, it was something that everyone had gotten used to by now; one of my brothers was always watching me when I went out. They only got involved when we ended up in over our heads. It helped that as guild leader most people assumed I was a higher level than I actually was, most didn't want to mess with a member of the Kings. Anyways I suppose I should describe my own appearance, I was wearing a blue jacket over a white shirt and held a katana at my side on a belt that held up my white pants. My boots were black. The shoulder of my jacket mirrored my arm in that the symbol denoting me as a member of the Kings of Insanity was in plain sight. My long brown hair was tied in a ponytail.'

"Hey Alice, I think that the monster we are hunting is a little further in." My friend Liliana said as she pulled me back to catch up with our party.

"Oh, sorry guys." I said as I caught up and drew my katana. I looked up to the corner of my sight and noticed that Liliana had taken some damage. "Hey Liliana, when did you get hit?"

"Oh, during that last battle, I didn't think it was that bad so I am gonna let my health regeneration take care of it." She replied.

"You should be careful sis." Liliana's brother Ian said. He and Liliana both had similar appearances; I guess being twins in real life was part of that. They both had black hair that covered an eye. Ian's hair covered his left eye and Liliana's covered her right. Their clothes even matched, they both wore black shirts and black pants. The main difference between the two was their weapons; Ian used a rapier and Liliana used a long sword and a shield. The two were my closest friends outside of the guild, and my usual party out here.

"Hey, guys, look it's the creature we are hunting." I said as I pointed at a lizard like creature standing on two legs wielding a club. We had gotten a quest to eliminate this creature for some odd reason or other. Every single second that we waited was a second that the creature could turn its head and see us. I drew my arm back and rushed at the enemy. "Hiōgi." When I got close I swung up, then down, and finished with a thrust that knocked the creature back a small bit. Liliana came forward and threw up her shield and stopped the creatures attack from hitting me before I was able to back up. Ian and I came up and slashed at the creature in an x shaped formation. Liliana finished the creature off with a downward swing of her longsword. "That was easy."

"It only seemed that way because we were able to sneak up on it to begin with. I seriously don't even know how you got that sneaky." Ian said as he sheathed his rapier at his side. As the three walked back to the quest-giver they swore that they were being followed by multiple people.

End of Alice's POV

"Damn it, why now?" Joe muttered as his Hypersense allowed him to see the PK guild that was following Alice and her friends. He quickly sent out a message to the others and switched his dagger for a katana that Lucas had made for the group when they weren't using their own unique skill based weapons. As powerful as he was; he was the one in charge of making sure that no one learned anything about the guild. He then saw the PK guild leader drop down in front of Alice.

"Hey little girl why don't you and your friends just drop your stuff and run away, we might even let you live." The slimy looking man said as he brought out a one-handed axe and smirked.

Alice looked up and noticed that the cursors above the men were red. _'Shit, PK-ers.'_ "What do you want; we are low leveled so you won't get anything good." Alice said as she slowly drew her katana. "You do know what this symbol on the shoulder of my jacket means right?"

"Yeah, that's the symbol for the Kings of Insanity. What do you think that just because you're wearing that I am gonna be scared?" The man then smirked. He drew his axe back and went to slice Alice when the axe was stopped by a katana that was pure blue. He saw that the blade was being held by a man in a black cloak. "Who the fuck are you?"

"My name does not matter, all that matters is that you were about to attack my little sister. I hope you and your boys have said your prayers, because I was just the distraction and time waster." Joe said as five other people in black cloaks teleported into the surrounding area and stood around the PK group. "I suppose I can tell you who you're facing at the moment. You are facing the Kings of Insanity." Joe then cut the man five times in rapid succession and watched as his health bar slowly dropped to zero. "It sucks that we're gonna be orange for a while, but we can handle it."

All the others in cloaks suddenly drew their weapons and began to cut down the rest of the PK-ers. The five teleported out of the area as soon as the people they killed hit the ground and shattered. Alice looked at her brother. "Thanks bro, but why did you guys go orange instead of just knocking them out?"

Joe looks at her. "Cause they attacked you. Had they went on their way and targeted someone else we would have let them live." He then fades away from sight.

Ian looked at Alice. "Those guys are scary sometimes Alice, how do you manage to stay alive with them?"

"They would do whatever it took to keep me safe, so that is how I survive… unfortunately that does not mean that I can do whatever I want, whenever I want. Do you know how scary it is to piss just one of them off?" Alice said, shivering there at the end, remembering how the training session after the first time she snuck off ended.

In town…

Robert was dragging Lawrence behind him as they went towards the info-broker that they knew. "Quit your bitching man, its only gonna hurt for a little bit… okay it's gonna hurt for as long as she wants. Just be happy that Logan is coming along as well otherwise Allissa would be helping in the pain. You knew that I was gonna have to negotiate a price for the information. So suck it up and shut up."

"You traitor." Lawrence said as he unequipped the cloak that was being used to drag him down the street. He was wearing a grey sleeve-less and black shorts as he took off running. He only got so far before he was field kicked by a woman wearing a jacket that had a fur hood. Her brown hair was in a ponytail and the smirk on her face as she kicked the running male. "Ow, I think I failed to escape."

"I also took your teleporting crystals so that you couldn't run. Take your beating like the tank you're supposed to be. Later Sierra, don't kill the guy, just carry on." Robert said as he walked off, his black hair in a tied in a ponytail as he unequipped the cloak he was wearing. Underneath he was wearing a pair of black pants and a red shirt, a skull necklace with red eyes, and a pair of sunglasses on. He smirked as he walked away, hearing the sounds of his friend getting his ass kicked by the info-broker. He had negotiated for the information on the location of a quest with a high reward and the price was to bring Lawrence to the next meeting for the sole purpose of getting his ass kicked. A fair price to be sure.

The short and loyal assistant of Sierra's walked up and sent a list of the guys they had just killed. "The list you requested."

"Thank you Allissa. Why don't you go and help Logan, he was looking for a shop to sell his weaker poisons to." Robert said as he looked over the list of PK-ers. _'So many people are starting to get desperate. We need to get out of here sooner rather than later.' _He then proceeded to teleport away back to the mansion. "Ah, opulence, I has it."

A few days later…

Alice was walking around the Town of Beginnings when she remembered that she _hadn't _sent a message telling the rest where she was going. _'Shit, I completely forgot to tell anyone that I was heading out today. Hopefully none of them have noticed.'_

At the mansion…

"Joe, where is Alice?" Logan asked.

"She should be around here somewhere why?" The sneaky little man replied.

"No one's seen her today." The silence that followed was one of brief anger.

"WHAT!?"

Everyone came running into the room. "What the hell is going on?" Robert asked.

"Alice left without telling us."

"Let's go and collect the little brat." Was Lawrence's reply.

With Alice…

Alice was walking around the field on the first floor when she ran into two people. The first was a guy with a black jacket on and the other was a girl with a red and white outfit. "Ouch, meanie, you should watch where you're going." Alice said as she looked up at the guy.

"Sorry, uh my name is Kirito." He said as he helped her up.

"My name is Asuna." The girl said.

"I'm Alice." She then noticed that Asuna was a member of the Knights of the Blood-Oath. She smirked quickly. Only Kirito noticed.

"So, what are you doing?" Kirito asked.

"_I _am trying to run from six people that scare me." Was her reply, unfortunately sending the wrong message to the two.

"Don't worry; we'll protect you from these scary people." Asuna replied briefly.

A sudden large amount of killing intent crashed down on the three, Alice in particular. The three looked around and saw six people in black cloaks. Kirito and Asuna noticed that each one was an orange player. Kirito and Asuna drew out their weapons as Alice shrunk in on herself. "So _this _is where you went? Alice I hope you are ready for your punishment." One of the men said.

**This is the end of the rewritten Chapter 1. I would like as many honest reviews as possible, mainly due to the fact that this is a rewrite my first story that has nothing to do with Naruto. I will also say that one problem that many seemed to have was just how powerful the characters were and I have decided to that maybe I did make them a little too overpowered, that doesn't mean that they are going to be weak…just not as strong as in the original.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Sword Art Online is not my property.**

**Kings of Insanity**

**Chapter 2: Brothers and Explanations!**

Previously…

A sudden large amount of killing intent, crashed down on the three, Alice in particular. The three looked around and saw six people in black cloaks. Kirito and Asuna noticed that each one was an orange player. Kirito along with Asuna drew their weapons, as Alice shrunk in on herself. "So this is where you went... Alice I hope you are ready for your punishment." One of the men said.

Currently…

Alice looked up, noticing that it was Lawrence that spoke in his usual drawl. "Hey, guys, what's up?"

Kirito saw how scared she was. "Don't worry we'll protect you!"

John looked at him, "Hey, kid, maybe you should stay back and stay out of this. Just a suggestion."

Asuna looked at the group of orange players, wondering just what they were after. "Who are you guys?"

Joe looked at her. He nodded to the others and they all smirked. "We are the best of the best, the sole inheritors of all that is insane, WE ARE THE KINGS OF INSANITY!"

Kirito and Asuna looked shocked. The Kings of Insanity were the top ranked guild;_ how_? Was everyone's question. Asuna stepped forward, "Is there any proof to that statement? Because it wouldn't be the first time that I heard that claim."

Robert sighed as he walked forward up to Kirito and Asuna. Then removed the hood of his cloak, showing his face; one eye was blue, while the other was the guild symbol for the Kings. "Is this proof enough… or would you like for us to recant which floors we eliminated PK-ers on?"

Kirito looked at him. "I remember you from the Beta. In fact I remember all six of you. Your each former Beta-testers, aren't you?"

Joe looked at him, "Yeah, hey ain't you Kirito? The first person to be coined a 'beater'?"

"Yes." He replied to the inquiry.

The group saw Alice starting to sneak away. "Stop right there Alice! We are notdone and we are not happy with you at this moment!" Joe said as Kirito and Asuna remembered what they were doing.

"You will not… get to this little girl on our watch." Kirito commanded, as he held his sword at the ready.

"Yeah, you will not terrorize her just because you're a top ranked guild. If you try to kill her, we will have no choice but to fight you." Asuna spoke, backing up her partners words. Her rapier out pointed defensively.

"Um, Asuna, Kirito? These six are my older brother and his friends. I'm technically also a member of the Kings of Insanity." The little girl said as she smiled sheepishly. Kirito and Asuna stared at the group while listening to Alice. "They are mad because I forgot to tell them I was heading out earlier."

"Then why are they orange?" Asuna inquired now more curious as to this change of events.

Lucas replied, scowling at the thought of the group. They had in the past, killed a few of his friends as well and he felt that they got what they deserved, then gruffly gave the girl in white a reply. "We stopped a group of PK-ers from attacking her and her friends a few days ago. We killed them, not because we wanted to, but because they would have found her again and attacked her again."

Kirito looked up and noticed that the orange cursors had gone back to green. He sighed and sheathed his sword. "Fine, I suppose that you seven will be heading out now?"

Joe nodded as he grabbed Alice and dragged her over to the others. "Sorry for the inconvenience she might have caused. Also, we would appreciate it if you two _didn't _reveal our identities to anyone else. If so, we might have to make you disappear." They all teleported away after that comment.

Kirito and Asuna both looked at each other before they decided to find out more about the Kings and the little girl Alice.

A few months later. Year 1 October 2023

On the 21th floor, on the outskirts of the northern most village of Balmullo, set back from the main path surrounded and by high conifers was a large stone mansion. This was the headquarters of the Kings of insanity.

The Place had been chosen after a consensus of all the members, because of several things. First was the privacy given by the surrounding trees, as the guild became almost fanatical about their privacy. Next was because of the size that gave them lots of room to expand the guild if the time came. Last was the large enclosed red gravel court yard that gave plenty of room to train.

The building itself was styled on some European stately home with tall windows, silver gray pristine stone work some of which was covered in ivy. Inside the mansion was just as beautiful, with large spacious corridors that where immaculately painted, the floors clad in an oak hard wood the whole place just felt warm and inviting.

Alice however was not thinking about this as she pacing tirelessly around her mansion, which doubled as the guild hall. At the moment the only other person there was Joe. Everyone else was doing whatever they did in their free time.

She looked over at her brother and sighed before heading up to the second floor; passing various rooms and a library. She stopped in front of a door that had her name on it. When she entered the room she noticed the large bed and fell down into it, bored out of her mind. She turned and opened up her journal, desperate to relieve some of her boredom and remembering some of the more memorable events that led to today.

Entry 1 Day 1 2022

We started playing today, and it was fun. My big brother and his friends all helped me out.

The biggest surprise though came when everyone was called into the Town of Beginnings and learned that if we die in the game we die in real life, I was so scared.

At this point in time my brother and his friends swore that they would do whatever it took to ensure that I escaped this game alive.

Entry 23 Day 50 2022

Our training worked, we all learned how to use katanas today.

In memoriam of all of the people that died on each day we each threw ourselves into the training. My big brothers though, they knew some training secrets and excelled. I don't think any of them have slept in days, it shows in the fact that they all were sluggish today. Oh, I just hope that something good happens soon.

Entry 27 Day 58 2023

We're a guild now! I was labeled as the guild leader, even though I have no control over the others. We also helped clear our first boss. We reached floor 3. We helped the group that did it, but my big brothers realized that they couldn't trust anyone after someone tried to stab me in the back. Although I struck the final blow and got the prize, it was nothing I could use. Robert took it to the market and sold it for a decent price. I used the money to purchase my mansion, even had it labeled as my guild hall.

Entry 40 Day 100 2023

I made a couple of friends today: Ian and Liliana. They were hanging out around floor 4. I jumped in and saved them before they could get swarmed… or more like I jumped in and Lawrence saved us from getting swarmed by wolves. He is a tank, but he is still a nice guy… most of the time.

Entry 41 Day 103 2023

Robert took me to a town today to meet a friend of his that worked as an Info-broker. Sierra was a good person, but did he really have to offer to take all of John and Lawrence's teleport crystals and let her beat them up? He then took me to get some ice cream. Maybe I should learn how to cook for them?

Entry 53 Day 114 2023

Joe almost died today. We took on the boss of a group of PK-ers on floor 7 and they misjudged their strength. If it wasn't for a lucky hit from John, with a type of weapon that I hadn't seen before: kusarigama. He used the weapon to hit the boss from a distance. I almost cried when I saw how low Joe's health was. One more hit and he would have died. Logan decided then that he would focus on medicine mixing as one of his main skills.

As Alice was about to read some more of her journal entries, she lazily looked at her guild members locations and noticed that everyone was in the guild hall. Closing the journal Alice decided to look at some of the other entry's later. She waked slowly down to the ground floor, dragging her heals across the wooden surface. _'__Best go see what everyone is doing' _she thought seeing that everyone in a single room, looking over a weapon that Robert had found in his inventory a day ago. It was a pair of hook blades. "What are those?"

"Hook swords dear Alice, they appeared in my inventory yesterday. I spent most of today looking for information on them. No one had any idea they were even weapon choices. A few people I met mentioned that they might be labeled as unique weapons. I tried them out and they can form a bow when I put the ends together. I will probably stick to my katana until I get used to using them."

Alice looked at the others. "Did anyone else get something?"

"Nope." Was the unanimous reply.

Lawrence looked at Joe. "So what have you been up to recently? Still sneaking around like a little pussy?"

Joe starred at Lawrence. "Still getting hit by everything and its mother?"

"You know it. I can take anything!"

"Except repeated beatings from Sierra." Robert chimed in.

"You know it is true Lawrence."

"Traitor."

Everyone laughed at that. Alice walked through the room and went into the kitchen area and started to make some food for everyone. As she was cooking Joe walked into the kitchen. "Be careful from now on, Robert got word that a guild of PK-ers was sighted on floors 7, 12, 14, and 21. They are not killing anyone, but those are the floors where we have our individual training areas, and where you and your friends usually train. Just be careful, and _**DON'T FORGET TO TELL US WHEN YOU LEAVE**_!"

"Okay big bro, you be careful as well." Alice sighed. _'Why does he have to be so over-protective?'_

"Of course, Alice."

The next day… Floor 21

Robert was walking around the field on floor 21 and was practicing with his hook blades when he noticed some players in a party being followed by a group of red players. _'Damn it, of all the days for me to train. I only have my hook blades. This is going to fucking suck!_ He thought as he let out a sigh.

Followed the two groups and being careful not to be seen he activated his hiding skill. After some time following the reds, he noticed that Ian was a member of the party. _'Isn't that Alice's friend? Son of a bitch, it's just not my day. _Robert mused to himself as he got ready"Hey Ian." He said as he popped up in front of the group.

Ian jumped at the sudden appearance, "Oh, hey Robert. Why are you out here?"

"Training, farming, and also trying to find a few things I can sell. I honestly prefer this floor for that. Also I mean I own a mansion here makes it convenient. For the most part though this floor has recently became very dangerous for low level players. PK-ers have made this floor one of their target zones. The PK guild: The Hands of the Reaper. They are on the top of the PK guild list."

"Ha-ha-hands of-of-of-of th-th-th-the Reaper?" One of the younger party members whimpered out.

"That's right brat, and now that you know our names; it's time for you to die." A woman said as she dropped from a tree behind everyone. She had a black leather coat over a crimson leotard. Her crimson boots was covered by straps and buckles. She smirked an evil smirk when all the people gasped at her red cursor, except for one person. "Well, who are you?"

"My name is none of your concern. Ian, take your friends and get out of here NOW!" Robert said as he brought out the hook blades. "So who do _I_ have the _honor _of standing against?"

The woman laughed cruelly as the low level players she was targeting left. "Well _you _just caused my quota to get away from me. I believe that means _your name _just became my concern, so I'll tell ya mine if ya tell me yours."

Robert sighed as he noticed five more guys drop from the surrounding trees. "The name is Robert, so what's yours?"

She smirked again. "My codename is Cammy, and you _Robert _are gonna give me everything you have."

Robert smirked a little. "Do you really believe that I am scared by a _grunt _of the Hands?"

She snarled at him. "I am the _fourth _division leader of the Hands, and I will defeat you here and take all of your stuff!"

The men that followed her, all charged at him and started to swing around their clubs. He ducked under the first and used the hook part of his weapon to redirect one of the men's attacks hitting one of his allies. The guy got hit and was thrown back a little. "Is that all you have?" Robert challenged as he tripped one of them and kicked him away. "I am disappointed in you." He unequipped the blades and switched one of his skills to martial arts. He then proceeded to knock around the five and left them with very little hp. The five teleported away from the field; leaving Cammy to fend for herself against the man that challenged all of them and won, regardless of the fact that he was breathing heavily and had been hit quite a few times. He re-equipped the hook swords and stared at her before she equipped a chain-sword.

"Damn those cowards. I guess I will have to take you on myself. You will be a wonderful stepping stone for our ambition to eliminate the Kings of Insanity!"

Robert just smirked before putting the blades on his back. "I guess I should properly introduce myself. I am Robert Robinson, one of the six Kings of Insanity!"

Cammy had a shocked look on her face as she realized that the only reason her men walked away was that this man let them… or he just didn't care about her weaker grunts. "You bastard, what makes you think that I will allow you to escape after such a ridiculous claim!?"

"Simple, my friends just got here." He replied as five men in cloaks teleported from behind her. Robert then dropped to one knee. "About time assholes."

Cammy growled before she activated one of her teleport crystals.

Cammy appeared at base and growled before heading to her room all the while cursing the man who had seemingly embarrassed her. She stopped before a room and sighed before going in and lying down.

**Cut. Yeah I have nothing new to say except I hope everyone liked the new chapter.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Welcome to the newest chapter, and the first major difference from the original story**

**Disclaimer: Vermiculus-umbra-chorus owns **_**nothing **_**of SAO.**

**Kings of Insanity**

**Chapter 3: Dark Intentions and Small Regrets**

**Floor 1 Year 1 October 2023**

Robert was staring Sierra down, as the two negotiated the price for the information, on the local of a quest that he had received a few days beforehand. Robert let out a sigh before starting the discussion. "I will bring John in and take his crystals. But if any of the information is false, he will get a single teleport crystal back after a couple of minutes.

Sierra sat in the throne-like chair in her shop, while trying to drive a hard bargain. The shop, that is located in an inconspicuous part of the Town of Beginnings, was pretty nondescript. The brown doors and brown doors belied the true importance of the two people that made that shop run.

Sierra and Allissa, the info-broker and assistant duo were known for high quality information… and steep prices that most would be lucky to afford.

Her assistant was the girlfriend of one of the Kings of Insanity, Logan, and she herself knew five of the seven. She regarded the boy in front of her a friend so she was not being too harsh. Smirking at the offer she calculated her next move. "How long if the information is completely accurate?"

"That is simple, the complete five minutes. If the information is useful enough that we complete the quest without any complications, I might even bring Lawrence into the arrangement. As much as they are my friends… this is cheaper than paying for the information with money."

The two stared each other down before smirking and shaking on the deal.

Robert sighed as he walked out of the building and sent the message to the others that he had acquired the info and to meet him in the Town of Beginnings.

Afterwards He went and stocked up on some health potions, a few basic throwing knives, and a book to read while waiting on the others. _Maybe I should ask if she had any information on that woman from the other day. Nah that might cost more than I am willing to pay at the moment. I swear though, they are getting bolder. The Hands of the Reaper are getting stronger… we will have to quit hitting the wimps and focus on hitting the Reapers. It looks like we will probably have to fight them even more now; I did embarrass her by beating her 'elite' guards. Oh, well. _

He noticed that everyone was in town except for Joe, but he had sent a message telling them to meet him on floor 30 so he could share some information about a group that attempted to complete the quest and died. "Time to dance with the devil." He jumped up onto the roof of a building and equipped his hook swords. The jack-of-all-trades jumped towards the teleporter and was quickly joined by four guys.

**Floor 30 Year 1 October 2023 **

The five friends appeared in the city of Tихий Город (Tikhiy Gorod) and met their sixth member, who looked at the group and shook his head. "The information I got said that the quest involves some major fighting. A group of about fifteen tried the quest the other day and died… There were no survivors."

Lawrence looked at Joe. "What did you dig up around here about the quest?"

"Not much, all anyone can say is that the reward is a sword. Most who try to complete the quest have died. One person got to the sword but couldn't defeat the guardian of the blade. He decided that he will meet us at start zone for the quest."

John looked at Robert. "Have you heard anything about the Hands of the Reaper lately?"

"Yes and no. I recently overhear someone mention that they hit a few members from the Knights. Mr. Fat-cat himself decided to declare them public enemy number one. Apparently he has posted a reward for anyone who can give information on them, or us. Seems he didn't like that we refused to do what he wants."

The others nodded and headed for the ruins in the field that housed the sword. When they reached the ruins they saw the man they were set to meet talking to a familiar guy with a black jacket. Kirito noticed that the man he was talking to stopped and turned around. "What is it?"

The man, a rather non-descript man with some rather plain features turned. "Ah hello Mr. Robert. I decided to hire Mr. Kirito here to help guard me in this rather dreadful dungeon. I hope that is okay with you and your friends?"

"It is not a problem at all. Mr. Kirito, my friends, and I have been acquainted before this. I hope that you won't mind working with us Kirito-san…I did say that right, correct?"

Kirito raised an eyebrow at the attempt to proper honorifics from an obviously American man. "Yes, you said it correctly. I wonder though, why are you guys so secretive?"

Joe walked up. "When we helped them beat a boss, Alice got the final hit and someone got pissed. As we were heading to the next floor they tried to stab her in the back. That man is now a high ranking member of the Knights of the Blood. It is also the reason that we decided that we would not get involved with them."

Kirito just nodded at the logic they displayed. As they were talking they didn't notice the man that was going to show them the way sent a message off to someone else. A dark smirk slipped on his face as he thought of the rewards he would get for setting these people up. He turned back around after putting on a pleasant look. "I think we should get started before too long. This is a rather extensive dungeon."

The group descended down the ruins and no one noticed as a medium sized group of people with red markers showed up and the leader smirked. They all hid and began to plan on how they would kill the Kings of Insanity and become members of the Hands of the Reaper.

One of the men looked at the leader, "Hey boss man, what do we do about the rat?"

The leader laughed, "We kill him as well. Anyone who betrays the guild deserves to die." The men laughed as they imagined just how their leader would kill the traitor.

**With the others in the dungeon…**

The eight players descended the ruins and came into a room. The room was covered in murals depicting large scale combat against a seemingly large creature with large wings, large claws, and a serpentine tail. Lawrence stared at the creature, "I wonder if that is the big bad guardian?"

The guide looked at the mural and shivered. "That is a possibility. My team fought the guardian and sent me ahead, so I never actually got a look at it."

Joe narrowed his eyes, "I thought you fought the guardian before? Wasn't that the reason you agreed to help us?"

The man started to sweat. _'Damn, no wonder they agreed to meet him. That bastard never told me anything about him fighting the guardian.' _He swallowed deeply, "I thought that more people would want to help me if I told them I fought the guardian… Sorry about lying."

Lawrence glared, "So we are going into a fight with no information on the enemy?" The man nods. "Good, that means this will actually be a challenge." He grins a bloodthirsty grin.

A hissing noise comes from the opposite side of the room. The group looks over and sees twenty-four Lamia appear from the doorway as something blocks the entrance they just came through. Everyone draws their weapons and get into a stance as the Lamias get closer. Robert smirks, "Let's dance. Remember to watch your backs."

Lawrence ran forward and swung a claymore and hit three of the Lamia and cleaved through them. "They have quantity and no quality." Two of the creatures came from behind and stabbed at him. He dodged one of the stabs but moved into the path of the other. After he got stabbed and a small portion of his life disappeared he retaliated by swinging his claymore and cleaving the successfully attacking creature in half.

One of the creatures came up behind Kirito but was quickly dispatched by John throwing his kusarigama and piercing the creature through the head. As the creature shattered John moved on to the next one, quickly decapitating it. As two of the creatures brought back their arms to throw a spear, one of the creatures had its arm wrapped in a chain and the angle was altered and its spear went through the side of the other creature. The injured creature was quickly brought to the ground by Kirito and slain.

Joe and Logan were back to back as they were surrounded by at least six of the seventeen remaining creatures. They laughed as the creatures attacked them with the tenacity of a fat kid in a chocolate factory. The creatures were quickly brought down with quick slashes from the two swordsman's katana blades.

Lucas and Robert were back to back as well, a battle axe in Lucas's hands and the hook swords in Robert's. "Just like old times old friend? Reminds me of high school; all of us against the damn world." He dodges a spear thrust while pushing Lucas out of the way as well. The hook swords started to glow. "Crimson Shadow Dance!" He ran forward and hit the two lizards directly in front of him, taking a spear thrust in the knee before the creatures and their weapons officially died. "An eighth of my health from a single spear thrust? Well, that sucks like hell."

Lucas cut down three of the Lamia and rushed over to Robert. "You alright?"

"I took a spear to the knee, what the hell do you think?"

"That you won't be an adventurer anymore…" Robert glared at Lucas for the terrible joke. Lucas answered the glare by slicing another Lamia that was sneaking up on Robert in half. "Don't lose focus now."

The five Lamia left hissed before rushing together and forming a giant Asura-Lamia with ten arms, five sides to its face, and a large nodachi in each hand. "That's a big one… Don't you fucking dare Lawrence." Joe growled as he saw Lawrence about to say something perverted.

"That's what she said!" John said for Lawrence. The group started to prepare to fight but Kirito suddenly jumped in and started to attack the monster repeatedly, eventually killing it without taking any damage.

"Well that was anti-climactic." Everyone said as Kirito sighed. "Sorry guys, but I wanted to get a move on. I hope you can understand me taking your kill."

Everyone sweat-dropped, the guy just soloed an enemy that probably would have killed at least one of them, and he was sorry about it. "Don't worry about it kid, you helped us out more than you know." Joe replied for everyone.

After fighting through a few dozen more Lamia and Asura-Lamia the group finally reached the bottom of the dungeon. "So, does everyone have their wills wrote incase shit hits the mother-fucking fan at a speed that sucks more dick than Joe." Was Lawrence's eloquent speech.

"Hey, that isn't fair… dickhead." Joe replied to his 'friend's' dig.

Lawrence smirks, "Then you shouldn't sleep with your mouth open."

No one knew what to say at the arguments between the two friends. "Ignore them, they always get like this when we're about to risk our lives. It's a way of saying that no matter what we will live just to get back at each other… But I suppose as long as you're willing to help us we really shouldn't have any problems." Robert told the confused looking Kirito. "Let's go guys; we need to do this quickly. No bitching and moaning until the fights over."

As they walked into the next room they heard a roar and looked up as seemingly large creature with large wings, large claws, and a serpentine tail started to descend from the ceiling. The group started to prepare for the long drawn out fight by having Robert use the hook-swords ability to turn into a bow to strike at the mini-boss from a distance. John started to swing the kusarigama in preparation to strike the creature as soon as it lands. Lawrence and Lucas both equip their strongest weapons and prepare to charge. Kirito, Joe, Logan, and the guide all draw their weapons and tense up. The creature lands and swings its tail at Robert, who can't dodge in time and gets sent flying into a wall taking over half of his health away.

John swung the kusarigama at the creature to distract it away from his fallen comrade. Lawrence and Lucas bum-rushed the creature and hacked at its wings until they were cut off and it clawed the two to escape their barrage of blows. "I've met cats who scratch better than you!"

Logan, Kirito, Joe, and the guide all managed to get behind it and start cutting into it at a rapid pace, eventually getting its health down to a low amount. All of a sudden all six of the Kings changed to katanas and simultaneously stabbed the boss killing it.

"Whew, we finally killed it. Now onward to the loot… in the name of BORDERLANDS!" Logan, Robert, Lawrence, and John yell out. As the group walks into the room holding the sword they all wonder who is gonna be using the sword. When they find the sword they all start to sweat-drop. The sword has a pink rose as the hilt and a light violet colored blade. Robert went forward and started to inspect the blade. "Well the weapon's name is Lilac's Thorn. I say that unless you want it Kirito we give it to Alice, she has wanted a new weapon… and this way we don't have to buy one." The greed in Robert's voice could be heard by all. Kirito shook his head in the negative.

They all make their way back to the entrance and notice the large group of people waiting. Lawrence sighs as he notices the red markers above their heads, "Who the fuck are these assholes?"

The leader of the assholes sneers at the group that just came out from the dungeon. "We are the Fists of the Dragon and we are here to kill you." The high pitched voice caused some snickers from the others and outright laughs from Lawrence, Robert, and Kirito. "Quit laughing at me you fucking bastards! Grr… KILL THEM ALL!"

Three of the men surround each of the people except for the guide who tries to strike out at Kirito. "What the… What are you doing?"

The guide smirks, "I'm going to kill you so that they will take me into their guild. No hard feelings, it's just business." He goes to strike at Kirito again but is stabbed in the back by the leader of the PK-ers. "We had a deal, you backstabbing ass-monkey!"

"We heard about the last guild you were in and how you betrayed them to the officials. The Hands of the Reaper made it clear, you needed to die a horrible painful death for betraying your brothers. Goodbye traitor." The leader than pulled his sword out before using it to cut the guide's head off. "Ah now to kill you seven."

The twenty-one killers surrounded the six semi-legal players and one legal player. "Ya know Kirito; you could always leave and let us handle this. You don't have to fight this filth with us."

"You just want me to leave so you can kill these men. I think we should turn them in."

"Fine, but we're not sticking around for the authorities to show up."

"I suppose that is acceptable. May I know where I can find you in case I want to talk to you some more?"

"Maybe after we take care of these fools." The following battle was quick and effortless for the seven experienced players. The twenty-one player-killers were all quickly knocked down and out and the authorities informed about them.

**Two days later…**

It was a quiet day in the Town of Beginnings, unless of course you were near the humble abode of the info-broker Sierra. As John was kicked around by the shorter than him info-broker Robert and Allissa were watching and laughing at the beat down in front of them, Robert eventually sighed as he noticed that the five-minute beating was over he sent John his teleport crystals again. John received them and with a mention of another helping of his 'kinky' beatings he teleported away. Robert shook his head in embarrassment of being friends with the shameless masochistic pervert. He sighed again as he looked over at his friend/info-broker, "Have I mentioned sorry for dragging you into this?"

Sierra nodded, "Multiple times. What happened to the dreadfully bored person that I went to school with?"

"He got involved in a game that can kill the people in it and dragged people in that usually never would have even given the game a second glance."

"Quit moping, you sound like one of those pitiful quitters that stay in the Town of Beginnings and whine about how this is all the fault of the Beta-testers." Robert winced slightly at the jab about the Beta-testers.

"Yeah, I know. If I ever find Akihiko I will ensure that the bastard gets what is coming to him." Robert then waved his hand and teleported away.

**And Finished. No snarky comments and no real reviews that I can reply to at the moment. I hope you like the story, and the mini-boss fight.**

**Vermiculus-umbra-chorus OUT!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own Sword Art Online.**

**Kings of Insanity**

**Chapter 4: The Arrival of the Second and Third Rivals**

**Year 1 November 2023 Floor 21 Kings of Insanity Main Base of Operations**

John was pacing up and down the Hall. The month before they had cleared a dungeon and helped by Kirito, who had also quickly become a friend of the Kings. He knew that the others were just as concerned as him; however each had their own method of coping. Lucas shut himself in his forge and refused to talk until he finished his current projects. Logan was always out with his girlfriend collecting materials. Lawrence was running around the lower floors punching enemies in the face. Joe was running damage control over rumors that they were involved in the bust of the Fists of the Dragon. Robert was off buying and selling loot and what-not, even managing to snag ridiculous deals sometimes. John was more concerned about the fact that Robert had come into some information that made them all swear to avoid any and all people who were involved with any of the major guilds, the Knights of the Blood Oath were handing out rewards for any information that could lead to the capture of a known member of the Kings. John thought that anyone who could capture one of them probably deserved a fucking reward if they survived; of course that required for them to have a few people to help them. Taking a deep breathe he decided to head to the 14th floor and thrash some monsters to take the burden of worrying about all the shit that has happened so far off of his mind.

John was stunned at the sight of all the orange and red markers currently hanging over the heads of the players on floor 14 since he had first appeared there a few hours beforehand. He was wondering if he found a monthly gathering of PK-ers and would have to fight his way to the teleporter. He remembered that Robert and Joe both confirmed rumors that the Hands of the Reaper had people stationed on the 14th floor and realized that this must have been whichever division that had been stationed in the area. Upon the realization he sent a message to the others telling them to get their asses to the floor and help him the fuck out. Lawrence was the first to answer and showed up a few minutes later and Robert teleported in behind him a minute later. Robert started off with a sarcastic question, "So what kind of party did we drop into, eh Commodore?"

"The kind of party that won't get kinky. I think that we have just found yet another division of the Hands."

Robert observed the people that had yet to notice the three friends. "No, that is not just one division, it is three separate divisions. I see the insignia for the Fourth Division, the Second Division, and the Seventh Division. So that means I will more than likely see that Cammy chick if I'm unlucky."

From behind the three a sarcastic voice chuckled, "Unlucky doesn't even begin to describe you three. I see that you are still a bit of a prick Robert."

The three turned around and drew their weapons. They saw three women staring at them with hate in their eyes. The one who spoke was a blonde with a red gauntlet and armor that appeared to be based off of a blue leotard. On her left was a red-head in armor that had the insignia of the Second Division and a longsword on her back. On Cammy's other side was a woman whose pink hair was in a long ponytail that actually appeared to be a tail of sorts, her armor was reminiscent of a cat and bore the Seventh Division insignia.

The pink haired one stood in front of Lawrence and held herself proudly as a warrior. "My codename is Haruko, and I am here to kick your ass."

Lawrence stared at the femme fatale in front of him and whistled. "I shall call you Kink-Kitten."

The silence that came after his comment made everyone wonder just what the hell was about to happen. "WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST CALL ME!?"

"I called you Kink-Kitten. You look like a cat and you threatened to kick my ass, therefore you are Kink-Kitten."

As the grunts ran away due to the concentrated killing intent in the air from the femme fatale that was currently equipping an axe from her equipment, the red-haired woman stood in front of John and introduced herself. "I was granted the codename of Erza."

Robert noticed that Cammy had not done anything besides tightening the red gauntlet over her arm. "Well, we know your names, but not why you want to kill us. So why don't we just talk about this over a game of poker." He noticed the deadpan look coming from every single person there, even a creature that was looking from a distance. "What, I like poker and it is the game of true champions."

Cammy stared at the dark-haired arch bastard that was in front of her. "You are such an insufferable bastard. I told you, we are going to kill you and your friends because that is what our leader demands. She hates your guts and demands that we kill all of you."

Robert just sighed before bringing out the hook swords. "Well I'm sure that your leader has her reasons, unfortunately for you; those reasons might just lead to _your _deaths. Don't forget that _we _don't really give a fuck if we go orange or red, as far as we are concerned: that just means that we will go to any length to keep on doing what we are doing." He got into his stance with the hook swords while Lawrence had Haruko follow after him when he tacitly ran away from the area where his comrade was going to fight. John and Erza both left the area as well, neither really wanted to get involved with another's fight. Cammy rushed forward and tried to punch Robert with her gauntlet only to hit a cross block.

As she jumped back from his counter strike she had to ask. "Do you have no honor?" she saw that instead of the smirk that he usually had he was being unusually serious. "Well, you are fighting an un-armed woman, are you sure that you should be using weapons? I noticed that last time you only used the martial arts skill, why did you not use any weapons last time?"

Robert sighed as he noticed she was waiting for an answer. "Simple, last time I only had these and I wasn't confident enough with them to use them. Not only that but it is harder to hold back from killing someone when you have a weapon than when you are using martial arts. As for whether I have honor or not… What about _you_? _You_ are the person who is a divisional leader in a PK guild. What honor is there in the killing of those weaker than you? Any person that I have killed was in self-defense or they were so far gone that killing them was a small bit of mercy to other players. Do you think that you are the first or will be the last person to question whether or not I have honor? I have always kept true to one focus, that I will get out of here and I will help get my friends out of here. So yeah, I do have honor, what about you?" He then unequipped the hook swords and switched to a dagger. "I will at least make it so that I will only use this dagger instead of my hook swords. That is as far as my honor will allow me to go."

Cammy wondered about the questions asked of her and scowled at Robert, "How dare _you _question _my _honor?" She rushed at him before he could answer and she tried her hardest to tag him with a single punch, sometimes pulling back so that the blade of his knife didn't cause her to lose an arm in her struggle to punch him in the face. In one exchange they both ended up getting hit, a small cut across Cammy's cheek and a slight bruise on Robert's cheek. "Wow, you are really pretty good. I wonder if when you die I will be able to use some of your items in memory of such a skilled opponent."

Robert had his smirk back on as he watched his health and her health return to max due to their battle healing. "This is going to take a while. Neither of us will just lie down and die and neither of us will walk away nor let the other walk away." They went back at but Cammy tripped Robert and knocked the knife out of his hand and picked it up for herself before she stood over him and held the knife to his throat.

"Guess you were wrong, this seems to have ended rather quickly." Just as she was about to finish him off the two were surrounded by members of the Knights of the Blood Oath. "What the hell is going on?"

A member of the Knights walked up and pointed his sword at them, "Cammy and Robert Robinson, you both are under arrest for the murder of several players and for attacks against the Knights of the Blood Oath."

Robert kipped up and stared at him, "Go bugger yourself, you annoying son of a bitch and step out of this."

"What, you are under arrest and therefore can't talk to me like that!"

"Um, go fuck yourself you annoying idiot. Since I'm _under arrest_ I can and will talk to you like an incompetent idiot. Don't worry, its how I usually talk to people I don't like. It's a rather annoying habit if you ask the people who I deal with on a daily basis." Robert and Cammy then both teleported out of the area.

A few minutes earlier with Lawrence and Haruko…

"So, I introduced myself earlier, who do I have the misfortune of dealing with?"

"Well I am the paragon of awesome, known to most as the most badass of the Kings of Insa-"

"I want the truth."

"I'm Lawrence, the Stone Dragon of the Kings of Insanity."

"Well, then I guess that I will be the one who eliminates the tank of the Kings. This will definitely make sure that our leader rewards me excellently for my actions. Maybe I will even get to be her personal guard." She then swings her axe forward and watches as he parries the blow away from him and causes it to cut a tree down. "So you're faster than the average player… that just means that I will be able to cut you even more."

"That is rather kinky, Kink-Kitten. Are you sure that you are not attracted to me in some odd way or other?"

She glares at him with the intensity of an artic blizzard, "I will tear you into so many pieces that no one will ever be able to find you, I will ensure that you suffer till the end of time in pain and misery."

She swings the axe at him and he pulls out the long sword and matches the hit in speed and strength, "Don't forget, I am still a tank and I am still stronger than you." The two are matching hits back and forth before she swings up and thrusts the axe into his stomach and causes him to hit the ground before she goes to drop the axe and split his skull like a ripe melon. She is then stopped by Asuna and a large group of the Knights of the Blood Oath.

"Halt. Lawrence Blankenship and Haruko, you both are under arrest for the murder of several players and for several counts of public indecency. You are also charged with attacking members of the Knights of the Blood Oath."

Lawrence suddenly appeared next to Asuna. "Thank you Milady, you honor me with your appearance and the act of saving my miserable life that would have no use without a person such as you in it. Alas I must leave so that others may have the knowledge that a beauty such as you saved a wretch as wretched as I. Farewell and may you always remember this as the day you saved the paragon of awesome that is-." Lawrence's speech was cut short as he teleported out of the area. Haruko just stared at the area before she teleported away as well.

A few minutes earlier with John and Erza…

The two people stood apart from each other and drew their weapons; John's kusarigama and Erza's longsword. Erza stared at him, "So who are you?"

"I'm John, one of the Kings of Insanity."

"So, why are you fighting against me? I will not go easy against you, I will defeat you." She charged at him before he could reply and he barely caught her blade in the chain connected to his kusarigama. "Oh, you are actually skilled."

"Much more skilled than you would believe." John then twirled the scythe end around and swung it at her at speeds higher than most people are prepared to handle, only for her to dodge and hit the kusarigama down and cut John above his eye and caused him to lose roughly an eighth of his health. He pulled the scythe end back and it caught her in the arm. The two smirked at each other and as they were both about to clash they both jumped back from a blade of pure light being shot between them. They turned to the side and saw Heathcliff.

"You two are under arrest for multiple crimes against the people of Aincrad. So I will have to arrest each of you, and you will in turn tell me all about your comrades."

John brought the scythe up. "Like hell I will, and like hell you will." He teleported away after flipping Heathcliff off as Erza used that incident to teleport away without being seen.

Floor 21 a few minutes after all three teleported away…

Robert immediately sent a message for the entire guild to meet in the meeting hall. As he went in he sat down in his chair, while everyone else filed into their chairs he motioned for John and Lawrence to explain what happened on the 14th floor. "I believe that we are gonna need to increase our training to some rather unprecedented levels. All three of us lost because they knew about us. Joe, from this point forward I want you to find out about each of the divisional leaders of the Hands. Lucas, we need some stronger equipment and we are gonna need to buckle down on our training. Alice, I want you to be extra careful whenever you go out with your friends, from this point forward it would be better if you avoided any major areas. I know that it isn't really fair that you must suffer, but this is so that they don't 'arrest' you like they tried with us." As everyone agreed and muttered to themselves about _more _training, no one noticed the extra set of eyes watching from the shadows outside the house.

**Cut. Mwahahaha. **

Omake: Lawrence's Reasons for Fighting.

Lawrence relaxed on his bed staring at the ceiling, pondering the course his life had taken to this point. Once a valedictorian, he now served as the tank in the guild, Kings of Insanity, for he never much cared for the use of intellect and would sooner take up a pickaxe and dig a ditch than answer a simple polynomial function. Besides, he truly enjoyed the work and the chance to play out his anger issues that had plagued him throughout his years in the real world. He was a social outcast, though mostly by choice. He could feign interest and maintain a conversation with most anybody, but his antisocial behavior and paranoid tendencies made it a rare moment indeed when he would let his guard down and assume the role of a normal person.

However, his friends accepted him as he was, much to his surprise. They knew him for the volatile, antisocial, and often manic person that he truly was, but they still stuck by him through it all. His friends meant enough to him for him to stick his life on the line everyday as the main target for any enemy that presented itself. He smiled at the realization that he had indeed grown to care for his friends as a sort of second family. Unfortunately for all enemies of the guild, he was especially protective of, and unpredictable, when it came to family.

Now, he came back to ponder the question a player had leveled his way earlier. The kid had posed a simple question but with no simple answer apparent. Now he sat and considered it.

"Why do I try to grow stronger?" he thought aloud.

"Because you wish to survive this ordeal." said the little voice in his head.

"It is not as simple as that though. That answer seems as hollow as I'm sure your head to be." He retorted.

"I'm a manifestation of your thoughts so you basically just called yourself stupid."

"Shut the fuck up and stop sounding so smug!"

"It seems you truly belong within this guild."

"Why is that?"

"You're currently holding a conversation with yourself. Need I say more?"

"Am I really this big of an asshole? No matter. I came to accept that fact a long time before I ever even started hearing you, though now I know why my enemies outnumber my friends ten-fold."

"I think we're getting off topic. We were discussing why you desired to grow stronger."

"In life I desired strength to protect myself and my family, but I feel as though that is just part of it. I suppose that I'm no longer content with just simple protection and survival. I want to thrive and to live, not to cower in fear at the Town of Beginnings as so many other players have. Though this is a game, I feel more alive than ever when I'm on the frontlines, facing seemingly insurmountable odds with my friends at my side."

"Now you have your answer, but does it not trouble you that one false move could spell the end of your days?"

"Yes, and no. Do I care if I cease to exist? No. Do I care if my family and friends are left to fend for themselves and suffer because of it? Yes. My life holds little value to me, especially if I lose it while doing what I believe is just, but I know my life does mean something to others. Therefore, for their sake, I trudge on and accept blow after blow, verbal or physical, so that my family and friends can rest easier."

"That was kind of deep, especially for an asshole like you. Perhaps there is still a chance for you and we'll survive this."

"Of course we'll survive. You know I refuse to die until I experience once again that which I always think about."

"You don't mean…."

"TACOS!"

"So much for that brief moment of insight and honesty…."

"Aw, just keep your lips, or whatever it is you have, shut. I'm going to try and get some sleep."

"Seems a bit earlier than usual."

"Yeah, but I need to wake up extra early tomorrow. I have plans."

He slept soundly that night and early the next morning he awoke and snuck over to Joe's room for a little fun at Joe's expense. Later, at breakfast, Joe was unaware as to why everyone was laughing when he entered.

"What's going on here? Why is everyone laughing?" Joe asked.

Alice quickly suppressed her giggles and rushed to her brother's aid. She handed him a metal shield, freshly polished, and he soon saw why everyone was laughing.

"PUSSY!" he shouted. "Who the hell wrote pussy on my forehead?"

Before he had even finished the question his glare landed squarely on Lawrence and his smug smile. Fuming, he stormed right up to him.

"Why would you do this to me? You are such a fucking asshole!"

Lawrence just grinned all the wider.

**And Now I can truly say cut.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Welcome to the official chapter 5 of Kings.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own SAO.**

**Kings of Insanity**

**Chapter 5: Depths of True Insanity**

December 2023 Floor 1 Town of Beginnings

Lucas was checking on the price of a rather vital piece of information regarding a material needed for everyone's new katanas. Most of the people were offering the information on its location at prices so high that even the loosest of spendthrifts would look the other way. Robert was the one who usually went and purchased information, but lately he had been pushing his training into dangerous terrain. "Why can't I find anyone with information on this damn material?"

A woman in a black cloak smirked as she followed the man. _'This will be one of my easiest kills. This guy is just a simple blacksmith, there is no way he can kill me. Now what material is he looking for?' _The woman's blue eyes held nothing but cruel hatred as she glared at her target.

After an hour of searching Lucas finally found a man with the information at a reasonable price… intimidation was helpful at times. The man unfortunately informed Lucas that the quest for it required at least two people and none of the Kings were available at the moment. "Do I even _know _anyone else that is available?"

"Well I'm available for a quest." The suggestive and, to a lesser man, _seductive_ voice of a woman sounded out from behind him caused Lucas to turn in mild shock that someone was able to sneak up behind him.

"I'm afraid that I don't even know who you are. Would you please tell me your name?"

Suggestively the woman practically cooed out. "My name is Liza." Liza smirked, "May I please know _your_ name?"

Lucas grinned, "The name is Lucas." He sent a party invite to Liza and she accepted as soon as it appeared. "Since the only reason that I even need to do this quest is for the reward I'll let you get all the random loot we find."

Liza stood in thought and agreed by nodding her head. "What floor are we heading to?"

Lucas smirked, "Floor 21. It also seems that one of my usual grinding spots is rather close by the target location." _'Of course at least one of the other Kings is at the HQ at all times, so just in case you are one of the Hands of the Reaper… I'll be ready.' _

Liza smiled seductively, "That is good, you should be able to fight any ole nasty monster that comes after little ol' me. I feel so safe. Why don't you hold me so I can see how safe I'll feel in your arms?"

Lucas just gave her a deadpan stare. "I only know your name, and besides… I'm not the kind of guy to just give in to the first chick to want to jump my bone. The only member of the Kings that _might _work on is also currently dating someone who would castrate him before he could even think of cheating."

Liza smiled, "Well we are gonna have to get better acquainted then."

Floor 21 Two hours later…

Liza's almost constant smile was starting to fade as the two once more started cutting through the lizard-men that were spawning in the dungeon that held the material Lucas was looking for. _'Two hours of searching and these damn lizard-men are making my job even harder. That fucker better be worth all the trouble, I am dealing with someone who was trained by Slayer if the rumors are true. Of course I'll have my fun before I send him to the Reaper.' _

Lucas was enjoying the fun of slaughtering the weak enemies that made the dungeon their home. After the months of working alongside the ever cynical Slayer he had a fine appreciation for fighting enemies that most would have problems with. "Don't tell me you're getting tired already. These guys are just cannon fodder." His battle-axe was carving through the creatures with the ease expected from a large weapon such as it.

Liza finally snapped as she unequipped the cloak hiding her armor and face. She was wearing a black leather corset that looked more like a dominatrix outfit that Lawrence would love to see than armor, tight leather pants that led to dark red leather boots, and her weapon happened to be a bladed whip. Her dark red hair, with white and black highlights, gave her the look of the ever classic Goth that Joe liked. She started to swing the whip in a frenzied manner and cut down all the lizard-men. "Please tell me there are no more _fucking lizard-fucks_!"

Lucas smirked at her outfit, "If I said that looked like a kinky wet dream that my comrade John had will you hit me?"

"No, as long as you also told me that there are no more fucking lizards."

"There are no more lizards and both John and Lawrence would probably love to see that outfit. You even have a whip, which just adds to the kinkiness."

"Maybe if we can finish this I'll let you and your friends enjoy even _more _kinkiness."

Lucas's smirk was almost devilish as he thought of all the revenge he could get against Robert with the inclusion of this rather well-endowed dominatrix into some of their adventures. "Maybe, but I can't imagine why you would act this way to someone that you barely know?"

"Let's wait until we find a safe zone or finish this quest before we talk more."

"Okay, there is a safe zone close by; I noticed it on the map I bought from the man who told me the information on the location of this damned material." She nodded as the two of them started to walk towards the safe zone.

As they got closer she sighed. _'Why is it always the ones who don't look at me like a piece of meat that I have to kill? Maybe I will enjoy this… even more than usual. Maybe I'll even learn how to use a battle-axe in his memory.' _As the safe zone got closer she decided that maybe she would have a brief confessional moment before she killed the man.

Lucas was watching the woman out of the corner of his eye and thought back to some of the times that he and Robert had just bullshitted back and forth about how they would probably end up with some crazy chick. He knew that his family life was insane, even more so than he would like to admit and that it would always make finding a woman that didn't care about their quirks harder than fucking hell. _'Maybe, she is more like the rest of us than I thought. We all have some kind of trouble in our past that causes us to not give a fuck about anything but Alice's safety. We all have our quirks, maybe this is hers. Course, the red marker above her head makes me wonder if she was truly just in the area.' _

Liza narrowed her eyes at the sign that someone else was also in the safe zone. As they got closer she saw that the person in there was a man that screamed out creepy. The man was just staring at her with unhidden lust evident in his eyes. "My my my, what a beautiful woman. My friend you must let me _enjoy _her _company_… I can pay quite a lot of money."

Lucas sneered at the man, "A woman's company is not something that you can just buy, and it must be earned. Scum like you are the type of men that give other men a bad name."

Liza stared at Lucas with an expression of shock and gratitude. The man on the other hand started to draw a sword. "I wasn't asking boy, you _will _be letting me take her."

Lucas smirked, "I am the Iron Ox of the Kings of Insanity, Lucas Howard. You are a pathetic excuse of a man that gets his jollies by going after women that you couldn't get in real life. If you want to duel, then I will gladly accept your challenge."

The man faltered as he stared at Lucas and Liza. "I won't forget this boy, you will rue the day you stopped me from getting what I want!" The man's final words were shouted before he teleported away.

"You didn't have to stand up for me. I could have handled that prick on my own." _'It also would have made killing you so much simpler.' _

Lucas smiled, "True, that is very true, but as a good man and Christian I couldn't let that man's comments stand. None of the Kings would have let his statement stand, but the others would have just challenged him to a fight to the death though."

"Why is your guild called the Kings of Insanity, you seem perfectly sane?"

"That is a carefully crafted image that only hides the depths of true insanity that each of us struggle with every day. As you probably know the definition of insanity is to do something several times expecting a different reaction, in our case that is getting up and not going crazy with us still stuck in this game. We are all gamers, each of us having played several games at the same time as each other to the point where we can act as a cohesive unit with nothing but a simple look."

Liza smiled, "That must be nice, knowing that you can trust your friends."

"Surely there must be someone out there that you trust?"

"I trusted an old boyfriend, but after a business trip I took he revealed his true colors. When I got back I found him fucking my sister in our bed. When he saw me the only thing he said was that he would get to me next. I kicked him and my sister out of the house and my life."

"Damn, that just seems to suck. I suppose I can tell you something rather personal as well. Ya see, before the Kings and I played this I had a girlfriend. I say had because I don't know if she would still consider me her boyfriend after all the things that I have done in here. I've killed people, used intimidation to get information, and escorted a rather beautiful woman through a dungeon. She is one of the many reasons that I fight, her and my friends are the most important things in my life."

"Oh? Then I guess that is why you didn't want to sleep with me when you saw me? You might just be the sweetest man I have met so far."

"I really doubt that, I can't be the _sweetest_, I am just an average person who just so happens to be a kind person… to those that don't piss me off."

"Oh? I must be rather special then if you're so kind to me."

He laughed as they waited to catch their breath in the safe zone. "Don't worry; it takes a lot to piss me off."

Liza smirked, "I'll remember that mister, and you better remember that it _doesn't _take a lot to piss _me _off."

Lucas smirked, "Let's continue on then. Maybe we can find the damned material within the next couple of rooms."

As they walk into the next room they see two giant lizard-men that are armored and carrying large claymores. The lizards seemed to glare at the two. Liza sighed, "You take the trash on the left, and I'll take the trash on the right."

"Okay." Lucas charged at the giant lizard and swung his axe at its leg. The lizard dodged by jumping back swinging the claymore at the battle-axe wielding blacksmith. The claymore, which missed due to the sudden dodge of the man, was stuck in the ground; which led to the decapitation of the lizard a few seconds later. "Mwahahaha, I am unbeatable on this floor."

Liza watched as the rather insane man stood over the body of the other giant lizard and gloated about how he was unbeatable. She used her whip to catch the leg of the lizard that stood against her and pulled it with all her might and tripped the creature. The claymore of the creature swung through the air and she used her whip to grab it and dragged it down and stabbed the creature with its own weapon. "I am so cool, that losers like you should be on your knees _begging me _for the chance to even grace your presence."

The two then blushed as they realized what they said could be heard by the other. The third person that followed the two from the beginning of the floor just smirked at the comments, he was gonna have some fun at his friend's expense later. _'Tovarish, you had better be prepared for the shit-storm that is awaiting you when you get back.' _

As the two decided to forget about their momentary lapse of sanity, they headed to the next room. When they entered the door shut behind them, stopping the third person from being able to enter. Lucas glanced back and saw Robert right before the door slammed in his face. _'Damn, there goes any backup if she tries to do anything. I suppose I'm on my own until we beat whatever mini-boss is guarding the material. Fucking hell, this is gonna fucking suck so fucking bad.' _"Alright, let's just walk forward until the boss shows up, then kick its ass, grab the material, and get the fuck outta here."

The two walked forward until the braziers along the walls lit up. They looked as a giant humanoid dragon-like lizard walked forward. A few lizard-men that were there started bowing before the creature like it was a god. Liza stared, "I think we interrupted their worship time, think we should come back later?"

"Nah, I say we kick their god's ass, take the material, and get the fuck outta here. Course, this bastard might just let us take the material, if we're really polite and ask." He hefts his battle-axe up and with a single mighty swing decapitates a lizard-man.

"What happened to asking politely?"

"That was polite."

"Men." Liza then used her whip and cut through a couple of lizard-men while the boss just watched the almost ritualistic slaughter of its minions. Lucas and Liza finally finished off the fifth and final lizard-man and turned their gaze to the boss.

The boss reached behind its back and pulled a giant scythe out. The weapon was then swung at the two in a horizontal arc that barely missed them as Liza pushed Lucas to the ground. Lucas nodded his thanks as he mentally prepared himself for the inevitable outcome of this fight: him still stuck in the room with someone he didn't one-hundred percent trust.

Liza was using her whip and acrobatic movements to keep on hitting the guardian and avoiding the surprisingly quick scythe blade. She was sure that this was going on her list of things never to do again, like that kayaking trip where she almost drowned. Lucas was using her as a diversion as he would wait until the guardian swung before rushing in and using some rather quick cuts to deal damage to the beast. The beast finally fell as one of Lucas's wild swings cut through its leg, the limb quickly breaking apart into several mini-pixels as they both swung their weapons in a deadly arc that separated head from shoulder.

As Lucas went forward and found the material in a nest he smirked, "More than enough for everyone." He saw in the reflective surface of the material that Liza was getting closer.

'_Fool. You should never give your back to anyone.' _She quietly equipped a dagger that was covered in a paralysis based poison. She quickly stabbed Lucas in the back and flipped him over when she was sure that the poison had taken effect. "I'm so sorry, but since you were so nice to me I decided that we would have some fun before I killed you."

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX MILD CITRUSY CONTENT AHEAD XXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

She grabbed his hand and brought it to her chest. The moan that she let out was a noise that would have normally drove a man insane. She quickly unequipped all of her current gear and let the man trapped under her see just what the corset top was hiding. Using his hand she unequipped all of his gear, prepping the man for some more fun. "Don't worry about your girlfriend. This isn't cheating; it's a final celebration before you die." Using his other hand she led it to apex between her thighs and sighed as she used him as a masturbation tool.

'_Damn it, Robert. Hurry the fuck up before this crazy bitch rapes me!' _Lucas shuddered as Liza began to grind on him, the only part of his body that didn't seem to be paralyzed quickly responded causing a shit eating grin to come over her face.

"Oh, so you do want to play. Okay, let's play one of my favorite games… first to come gets cut… we go until one of us is dead." As she slowed her grind down she brought up her dagger, preparing to kill him as soon as she was done.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX MILD CITRUSY CONTENT FINISHED XXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Just as she was reaching for his boxers she felt the cold and sharp edge of a blade. She looked up into the cold blue eyes of Robert as he held one of his hook swords to her throat. "Get up and get the fuck outta here. This is your only warning."

"How long have you been following us?"

"Since you first appeared on this floor, we always have someone waiting at our base for trouble. Seeing one of the others with a woman that has an orange marker kinda set some alarms off."

"How long were you watching me have some fun with your friend?"

"Long enough to see that it wasn't consensual."

"What if it was? Would you have still acted like this?"

"Nope, I would have walked away after getting enough blackmail against him."

"Fine, but this ain't the last you have seen of me." After she re-equipped all her gear she teleported out of the dungeon and Robert helped Lucas up after the poison wore off.

"Would you really have stayed and get blackmail against me?"

"Yes, I would have."

"That's cold man, that is real cold."

"Didn't I just save your ass from being raped? Albeit raped by a hot woman, but raped none-the-less?"

"Yes you did, but could you keep this a secret from the rest of the guys? We don't really need the perverted brothers from finding out about this."

"About what, the dominatrix that was about to rape you? Or the fact that you let your guard down long enough for her to poison you?"

"Both you asshole. The bad part is that she has a past that sucks almost as bad as some of ours."

The two frowned as they teleported out of the dungeon and appeared next to the mansion. As Lucas went in, he swore that he was being watched. As he closed the door a shadowy figure once more watched the mansion, a smirk on its features.

**CUT. This was my first time ever writing something even slightly erotic… I probably fucked up something fierce. Yes, Liza will be back at a later time, and no I do not condone rape. Also, apart from some names and personalities these people are NOT real so expect some backstories that aren't exactly happy. No Omake this time.**


	6. Omake

**This chapter has absolutely nothing to do with the story and is instead just one large omake. Expect some really crazy things to happen.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing that shows up in this chapter.**

**Kings of Insanity**

**Omake chapter 1: Poker Game**

It was a fine day in Aincrad, unless you were in an inn on the 21st floor. This inn had quite a few people all sitting around a table; seven had cards in front of them and a stack of chips at their side. The people at the table were Heathcliff, Kirito, Asuna, Robert, Klein, a guy that was covered in black armor, and Slayer (See the story Through the Darkness by Mysterious Maniac.) Amongst the inn were other tables, empty for the better part of a day, many of them having been cleared by the people currently sitting at the table.

Currently the man in black armor was in the lead, the large pile of chips next to him slightly larger than everyone else's. Robert was dealer and started to deal out two cards to everyone.

Heathcliff looked at his cards and saw that he was dealt a pair of twos, Spades and Clubs, right off the back.

Kirito received a Seven of Diamonds and Six of Hearts.

Asuna had a King of Clubs and Queen of Diamonds.

The man in black was given a pair of threes: Clubs and Hearts.

Klein was holding a pair of tens; Hearts and Diamonds.

Slayer was sitting smugly, even though he was holding a Three of Diamonds and Seven of Clubs.

Robert finished by dealing himself his second card; an Ace of Spades to go with his first card, a Jack of Spades.

"Well, this is a first. All of us in one room _not _trying to kill each other in vicious combat. I'll go in 500." Heathcliff started.

"True, so very very true. Call." Kirito threw in some chips.

"I didn't know that we were all trying to kill each other. Call." Asuna matched the other two.

"My guild is a guild filled with PK-ers and we plan on killing anyone who won't bow down to us. I fold." The man in black throws his cards down.

"I'm just here for the money that I can get for winning. I'll call as well." Klein gave his input.

"I'm here for the same reason the wannabe samurai is. I'll call." Slayer mumbled out in his usual asshole-ish way.

"Well, I really don't care if someone tries to kill _me_; if they succeed it just means that it was my time. I'll call I suppose." Robert tossed his chips in. He looked around at the others as he started to lay down the flop. (I am not 100% sure on the terminology so if I get it wrong sorry.) A Four, King, and Seven all of Spades were revealed.

"I'll check." Heathcliff.

"Check." Kirito.

"Check." Asuna.

"Check." Klein.

"I'll raise the pot 1000." Slayer stated as he threw in his chips.

"I'll raise that by another 1500." Robert called as he threw in his chips.

Heathcliff hesitated before he threw in the appropriate amount of chips.

Kirito sighed as he folded.

Asuna mirrored Kirito's action and folded.

Klein called as he looked over his cards again.

Slayer glared at Robert with the burning intensity of a dying sun. "I suppose that you are bluffing, eh Mr. Wolf of Insanity. Well I'll call your bluff." He threw in the chips.

Robert smirked as the next card was revealed: a Ten of Spades. _'One card left before I have a Royal Flush.' _

Heathcliff watched the three left and knew that at least one was bluffing, but which one was the part he was worried about. "I think that I will raise the pot by 2000." _'At least one of them should fold if they are bluffing.'_

Klein was holding his breath as he tried to determine whether or not he should continue with a three of a kind or fold. As he sat there the inn was being filled by people who had heard about the poker tournament and how it was still going strong. "I'll call."

Slayer thought carefully about his next move, before he pushed the chips in. "Wow, he must be brave." A person in the crowd muttered. "Or stupid." The man next to him said. Everyone snickered.

"I think I'll raise ya by going all in." Robert replied, pushing all his chips in.

"I'll call you on that bluff." Heathcliff stated as he pushed the rest of his chips into the pile.

Klein folded immediately. Slayer pushed his chips in and smirked. "I've got ya now bastard."

"Definitely stupid. I mean who goes all in when they have nothing."

Robert flipped the last card over and revealed a Queen of Spades. "I guess that means I win this hand. Royal Flush."

Slayer and Heathcliff were amazed; they just lost because they thought he was bluffing. Slayer started to seethe, that money was going to be used to get a better house for him and Mia. "You had to cheat; there is no way that someone like you could be so lucky!" A voice from the crowd shouted.

"I refute that accusation; I would never cheat! In fact I challenge whatever coward that said that to a duel of honor!" Robert shouted out, an anime tic mark seeming to appear out of nowhere.

A giant of a man stepped out from the crowd. "I said it. Remember me; I am the man who you beat in the first round of the tournament? I watched as you almost always got the card you needed, it's just so fucking obvious that you cheated!"

As the man was about to charge and attack Robert a wolf appeared and stopped the attack. "No, it was I who said it." The wolf turned and stared deep into the eyes of everyone there. "Does anyone else wish to claim my comment as theirs?"

As everyone started to fight over who actually said the comment Robert was sneaking out of the inn with the winnings. "Wait. Where did that mother-fucker go?" Slayer shouted out as he noticed Robert was gone.

Everyone rushed out of the inn and saw that Robert was surrounded by even more people. "**We know that you cheated. We know everything about you. We know your deepest secret. We know about your comrade's obsession with tacos. We know all.**"

Asuna summed everyone's thoughts up with one word. "Creepy."

Robert stopped moving as he finally smirked. "_I _didn't cheat. I merely played the game… and each one of you as well."

As everyone was watching everyone else someone threw a random chair and from that everyone started fighting. As Robert snuck through and got to the back he noticed that Heathcliff had a bucket of popcorn and a coke. "Ya got anymore?"

Heathcliff handed him a bucket and a coke and the two sworn enemies watched as all the people fought like wild animals. "Who threw the chair?" Heathcliff asked.

Robert pointed at a penguin. "He did. We call him Popper."

"We?"

"The Kings and some of our comrades."

"You're awfully chatty."

"Meh, I'm not really concerned about whether or not you are gonna do anything. Don't forget, during the tournament a no fighting rule was placed."

"The tournament is over."

"I am not concerned. If you wanted to do anything then you would have by now."

The two were still chatting as the large brawl continued. "So, are you still gonna fight against me later?"

"Of course, Akihiko."

"! How did you figure it out?"

"I saw when you switched your cards a few times. You realize that I could inform everybody and watch as they all hunt you down, right?"

"I could also just have my entire guild teleport directly into your guild hall."

"It seems that we are at an impasse. I wonder what would happen if my entire guild took you on."

"Do you want the truth?"

"No, I already know that we would get our asses kicked."

"Where is the confident man I was just playing poker against?"

"Plotting how to kill you and get away with his money."

"So what is your immediate plan? I mean, what could any of you do to me?"

"FGR. If you knew what those initials stood for, you would never try anything against us."

"I'll take your word on that, now how shall I stop this fight?"

"I've got it." He stands up and points at the penguin. "Hey, look, it's Akihiko Kayaba!"

"**MUST KILL AKIHIKO KAYABA!**" The large group said as they fell upon the poor penguin, who was really just a figment of imagination and represented how little sleep some people had been having since the game started. After the imaginary creature disappeared everyone started to disperse, forgetting why they were fighting in the first place.

As Heathcliff watched, he realized that some people really did want him dead, which in turn made him realize that he could remove people in much the same way that Robert escaped the crowd.

**Cut. Not a long chapter, but it is also not a part of the actual story. Now everyone who appeared in this chapter is scheduled to appear in the actual story. I would like to thank Gazdav for his words of advice, Mysterious Maniac for letting me use his character Slayer, and my friends for their input in this story. I have a profile on Facebook just for this profile, send a friend request for update info, give me challenges, and even to further discuss anything you may wish to.**


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